I had earlier started a discussion on religion and spirituality in the blog "Wipe a tear and remove a pain". I would like to thank everyone for their participation and helpful comments.
As for me, pondering on the issue of religion and spirituality brings me back to my childhood. I grew up with my grandmother and aunt. Both were vegetarians even before my birth and followed all religious practises, ceremonies and functions very carefully. They even had different cooking utensils for the fasting days, normal day cooking for vegetarians and non-vegetarians. I grew up with my cousin and sister and we are till now non-vegetarians.
Going back to my childhood, we were made to follow a system of being vegetarians on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. We were also taken to the nearby murugan and Amma temple every week. During occasions such as Navarathri, Thaipusam, shasti, sathurti and others, we were made to eat vegetarian food and attend temple in the evening after school.
As I grew up in such an enviroment, praying and following religious practises were part of my life. We were also sent to the Sivananda Centre where we learnt Tevaram. Our grandmother also insisted that we learn tamil and tevaram at home along with classical music. I did all of this and followed the way of life that was expected of me from a pysical sense. But mentally, I always wondered as to why did we need to do all of this and if GOD really required all of this.
As I grew and left home to study in Kuala Lumpur, I slowly deviated from being a vegetarian on those particular days if vegetarian food was hard to get as i started thinking "why do it?" However, I always mantained kanda shashti viratam. That somehow was close to my heart.
Then I entered into an arranged marriage and my husband came from a family where there really was no system or particular 'circular' to religious following at home. Again following the religious ways and practises were a little difficult but I managed to get my husband to somehow accomodate what ever little that I was practising.
The religious upbringing though got me physically close to GOD, but mentally I always had questions here and there. As life introduced me to Guru's, the closest Guru to my heart and who I had the opportunity to have Guru darshan was Sri Sathya Sai Baba. It was a miraculous trip and an unforgettable experience. Though I still pray to Baba but my questions still arise every now and then on what Godliness was all about.
Then I met Guruji in Malaysia. Suddenly, all my questions seem to dissappear. Infact, I can't even remember why these questions were so important that Ihad to defy my grandmothers teaching! Eating Non vegetarian food does nor really feel right these days. Infact when I eat, I think I have lost the taste bud for it.
I suddenly want to follow my grandmothers ways, I want to read spiritual matters even while at work, I want to meditate, I want to keep my alter at home and at work full with flowers and decorate it beautifully , etc.... and all of this is rooted from a strong desire that feels so pure and simple. It is hard to put to words these feelings.
I think this is where spirituality collides with religious practise. Though all my childhood and teen youth was under a religious practise thanks to my grandmother and aunt, however the spirituality of it from within me was not really present. I think spirituality is a matter from the heart and within wherein, we are in touch with divinity from within and suddenly, everything we do is from a totally different realm and sphere.
I thank Pujya Guruji for giving me such a revelation and connecting me with my divinity. It feels so right to carry out matters and duties with a spiritual sense.
I believe that having a religious background or learning or following a religious way is quite necessary in one's life because once a person is in touch with his or her own divinity, then the religious background and teaching allows one to continue certain practises or imbibe certain ways with ease whilst giving a person a sense of 'what to do with your sudden spiritual thirst and energy'. Once you have a religious practise to follow, you will not feel like you are lost. You only find and continue to find yourself.
For me at least, all of a Sudden all the religious practises that I did in my younger days, I now perform it with devotion and with a sense of fulfillment. I realise that I have made a full circle back in life with a complete different angle and vision. My past now meets the present in continuous harmony and with a flow of water like it never stopped.
I believe that we need both the religious practises and the spiritual awakening to understand our lives better and to lead a certain order in life that will bring a sense of fullfillment, upliftment, purpose full if divine experiences.
Om Jai Matha! Om Jai Gurudeva!
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